Fatal Fixer-Upper by Jennie Bentley
Edition: Kindle
Pages: 332
Publisher/Date: Berkley Prime Crime / November 4, 2008
Price: $7.99 on Amazon
Reading Challenges: Women Authors, Where Are You Reading (Maine)
The Unlikely Sleuth: Avery Baker, New York City girl and textile designer.
Synopsis: After receiving a mysterious letter from her reclusive great aunt, Avery sets out north to visit her aunt in a small town in Maine. When she arrives, she finds that her aunt died (falling down the stairs) and has left the aging home to Avery. Of course, the death is suspicious and then some other stuff happens and…blah blah blah. That sums up the plot from my point of view.
Plot Pace Rating: 1/5 – If I were 10, I’d say I just about died of boredom. Since I’m an adult and at least somewhat more mature, I know that’s impossible. But, man, my eyes kept glazing over after reading page after page of pretty much nothing but casual conversation. Nothing happened until the very end.
Mystery Rating: 1/5 - What mystery? Obviously, someone pushed the aunt down the stairs and there’s this other guy, a professor at the local university, who is missing. And there’s a tie in to Marie Antoinette and an old ship supposedly carrying her possessions to America. Oh, and someone wants to buy her house, I think. You’d think that would be some interesting stuff, but everything was presented in such a dull and boring manner, I couldn’t have cared less.
Character Rating: 1/5 - None of the characters did anything for me. They were about as one-dimensional as they come. Avery went as far as to annoy me. She seemed pretty sure of her textile design skills, but the book opens up with her upholstering a Gustavian loveseat in a pink, kiss-patterned fabric. She wants to renovate her aunt’s old cottage with a modern loft-type theme. Her ideas were something you’d see scribbled on the pink notebook of a 13-year-old, not someone who has graduated college for design.
Romance Rating: 0/5 - Ha. Well, let’s see there’s “Philippe”, Avery’s overly French ex-boyfriend and ex-boss (maybe that’s how she got a job in the design field) who cheated on her. And there’s Derek, the hunky handyman who agreed to work for $600 a week doing her remodel. Phil was ridiculous (and even more ridiculous that Avery continued to say things like she couldn’t believe a guy like Philippe would have anything to do with her). Derek may have been okay if he actually had a character. Sadly, he didn’t.
The Best Part: The best part was before I started this book and I had high hopes (because I love ghost and fixer-upper mysteries).
And The Worst: Having my hopes crushed when I finished it.
Series Rating: This was the first book in the series and I didn’t care to read further.
...and the long review (since I wrote it before I decided to change the cozy mystery review formats)
Yeah….no. This just didn’t do anything for me.
Why? First off, the writing seemed really awkward. It’s being told from Avery’s perspective, but she frequently goes on these Wikipedia-like descriptions of things like periods of history or architecture– beyond what your average person would know. If she had a degree in one of these fields, I could understand it more, but it just seems like she’s a show off with Google.
Then, about 75% through the book, Avery addresses the reader.
“I won’t bore you with the blow-by-blow of the progression of events…”
What? When did I get written into this book? Random.
Secondly, I didn’t like Avery. I didn’t feel for her when she finds Philippe in bed with his receptionist because, in the first chapter, she talks about them making obviously suggestive gestures toward one another
“I rolled my eyes and turned my attention back to the love seat, but not before I had seen Philippe wink and ask her if she’d enjoyed her lunch. Tara giggled, 'Oh, ye-e-es!'"
Remember, Avery is telling the story so it’s not like she didn’t see it because, if she didn’t see it, she wouldn’t have told us about it. It was like she was wearing blinders when it came to him and, really, she just came across as desperate. Even after Avert dumps him she thinks back on how she never thought she could find someone as good as Philippe.
But then there’s the whole thing with Derek, the hunky handyman, and that was somehow both boring and irritating. Derek has no personality. I wanted to like him – he seemed like he would’ve been a nice, down-to-earth guy – but he didn’t come alive. Whenever they got close to making a move on one another, they would unemotionally shut it down because what will happen when Avery goes back to New York at the end of the summer? If you can turn off your emotions that easy, it’s not going to be any great romance. And if it’s not any great romance, then what’s the point of writing about it.
There was a mystery plot there somewhere – Avery’s great aunt sent her a letter asking her to come visit, she had important secrets to reveal, and then died (suspiciously) before Avery got there. Every single person in the story acts incredibly suspicious – even the nice people – but I pretty much knew who was responsible within their first interaction with Avery.
Oh and Avery, for being a textile designer, has HORRIBLE taste. OH my gosh, it opens up with her being irritated with Philippe because he didn’t like her creative ideas – like using a pattern of overlapping lipstick kisses in three shades of pink on a Gustavian reproduction loveseat. I thought maybe it was a joke, but no, she was serious. Oh, and then she wants to go for a modern loft look with cement counters in her grandmother’s old Victorian home (thankfully Derek tells her to STFU). But, really, there’s one thing to have no taste, but when she’s a designer, you’d think she’d know better.
It’s not like my to quit after the first book in a series, but I just didn’t see myself getting into this one.
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